nothing hurts like losing

i went by and saw puppies. they were dachshunds aka hot dogs. i love them soo much! i wanted the girl or the boy dog.
i wanted to name the boy dog, ruffy & the girl dog, belle or twiggy since she was tiny. ^_^ so cute!

xxoo

i lost two 'friends' if you wish to call them that. yet, i felt more with a friend to one and more of an enemy towards the other. yet of course, i found out though that the enemy seemed more of a friend. it says, "keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer." i am not sure if they meant in a negative way but i think that i should of been more closer with the enemy.

i want this friendship to start all over from the dead beginning. i want to know her without knowing her friend cause that honestly ruined it for me. i just don't want a friend like her now. i want to be in a friendship where there are no worries and no one is feeling tied down or forced into something.

it'll never work out so i know this magic show is over and the trick is done. oh well...i just want to say that i don't hate you and never will.  you were among the ones that stood up for me. thank you. you will always be someone that i admire, in a sense. lol.

best wishes to you always.

A/N: Just something I wrote the other night. ^_^ Short & sweet.

Melting words fall upon the page like the leaves that fall in the October Nights. Everything is meant to be said. Its one continuing sad song. Make your wish its 11:11, the next shift is about to begin. Hearing the words of old centuries time that unfold the truth.  Its all one huge lie. Book of secrets have been published and printed.
Public views are only the beginning. Cruel views and widsom of waves are just around the corner. Write neat on your death note to know that the end is upon us. The end of the book is the true fight. The Big Rally. Big-Bada-BOOM!
The thugs of angels in the field are running the purple water falls. Produce your wishes and to be granted you must fall. The black sky is cracking from the middle to the edge. Do you know where we stop and go? Its the blue light special at K-mart and you are the cheapest thing in the store.
Sing me a love song. Bye-Bye Lullaby. Bye. Bye.

xxoo

i am seriously thinking of getting this ring. wait no not thinking i am getting it. i think that since i did so awesome at work at that this paycheck is pretty good that i will get some spending money so i am def. buying this ring. its pure love!

my fat ass of a cat noah is sitting next to me. he's adorable. so random but yeah. so i never know what to really write anymore which truly sucks. yeah i think i need a boost of inspiration. thats why tomorrow i am going to take the pride & prejudice book back because it is just really boring. p lus i think i am going to reserve the fight club book by chuck palahniuk and since kate said that would get me a better understanding of his writing, i am doing it. i think dovers library may have it so we shall see but i am doing that tomorrow. i want to read this book, BAD! i was already reading some of diary when my mom had to take it back. it sucked because i really wanted to finish reading it yet i couldn't because i couldn't find my damn library card. i am hoping to get it again soon since i was totally hooked onto every word he was saying. i just LOVE his writing. plus i want to see the choke movie. its going to be the best thing to me compared to across the universe and maybe fight club whenever i see it. haha!

i am bored. a bit tired. gotta go update my LJ now. woot woot!

xxoo

i want this kind of cat when i get some money to adopt a cat or maybe something that is as cute as this and take it with me when i go to miami when i move.

i want to name him/her, shitake. woot!

what kind of cat do you want? what would you name it?

xxoo

so i tried posting this jouranl awhile back but i lost it for some reason and i was sooo exhausted i didn't feel like typing it all back up but since i have time, i am going to do it. i have too much time on my hands.

here's a list of stuff i want for myself:

i want this shirt soooo bad! i am so going to wear this shirt when me and kate go to bamboozle. <3 i love it!

duh!!!!! enough said.

i want the blue bag of this and kate has the gold purse! i love it yet i need to find where i found this from...maybe it was urban outfitters. i don't remember. haha!

for the florida rain. i'll have to buy some of these. i love them! it was either this pair of the leopard print ones.

i love this shirt too and its my fave pic of the beatles! :D

i loved this bag and this is the bag i plan on taking everywhere once in florida. i am trying to save up money sooo bad. i just love this bag.

this is not actually for ME, its actually for kate since she is IN LOVE with this movie. i love it but not all that much to have a keychain. haha! maybe one day i will be. i just love watching michael cera in it. haha. ^_^

things for the apartment:

i love this towels. i want these for the bathroom. they are supposed to be some weird alien thing or something thats what the ad said but i thought they reminded me of ninjas. i like ninjas better. haha!

i love this light ficture!!!! i want to get this for my room and maybe if kate wants one for her room. haha.

i love these pilows!!!! i want these to go on the couch in the living room. sushi pillows rule!

this i want to be hanged up in my room. i find it sooo adorable.

i want these curtainsbecause they go perfect with my new bedspread that i just bought! :D

this is for the kitchen. i like it but i'm not sure if kate likes it...haha!

alice in wonderland shot glasses. i love them!

measuring spoons for kitchen even though neither of us know how to cook. i think we will be eating out more than anything. living on sushi 24/7!!!!

i loved these plates, they had a japanese feel to them.

fuckk yess!!!! a pink phone for the living room. <3

now to the artwork:

our apartment is going to be one giant carnival, kids playground, and art gallery combined. i am already loving it!!! wooo. i can't wait!

xoxo

i am so confused right now. i just don't know what to think about certain things.i am just caught in some rollercoaster that i wish i could get off but when the stop comes i just keep on going. its weird but i love it at the same time.

talk to kiki online for a long time. love that girl and she is just hilarious! what would i do without her? its great to be chatting with her again. :) love ya homeskillet. hahahaaha! work today was okay. thankfully it went by pretty fast. i am so bored right now and really tired. i am getting ready for bed soon.

good night!

xoxo

i am so tired right now. i went to bed about 3 in the morning and then i had to wake up at 8 or so to get up and leave my friends house to come back here to my house. i am a bit tired and i have about a few hours left to relax before work. i have to work today from like 1 to 9. its only 1 hour extra compared to monday-thursday yet it feels so much longer. i want me a turkey sandwich. lol. i went to mcdonalds last night and my friend melinda got a damn hamburger and yes me and her are finally talking and hanging out again. fun times! :)

she got a hamburger and i got some mcchicken thingy or whatever. it was a bit peppery (thats a word....haha) but still it was all good overall. the highlight of our night was this rude and very cranky person. so we went to the front window to pay for what we had gotten had mcdonalds just to see that this blue suv pulls next to my car. so i sit there wondering what she is doing and i was about to pull up since the girl told me to pull up and the woman walks in front of my car goes to the window while i'm still sitting there and goes to the window and says, "can i have three straws?" (very rude by the way) and the woman gives her the straws and she says, "yeah...like everytime." (i guess implying that she always has to get straws cause they forget) well she walks in front of the car and me and melinda were already laughing. windows rolled down and everything.

so then she looks  me with an evil look like it was my fault she didn't have her 3 straws. then she said, "oh yeah..." (in a sarcastic tone) to us and then we couldn't stop laughing. yes the drive thru line was long and maybe me and melinda were kind of asking a few questions about our meal to make sure we got everything we wanted. well that woman could of easily gone to the inside of mcdonalds, get straws, and get in her car in leave. nope this woman HAD to go through the driver thru. she was a bit crazy in the head and i think she was like going through menopause or some crazy shit. it was hilarious! that so made my saturday night worth while. lol.

i am going to take a quick nap.

how did your guys weekend go? did you have rude pms old ladies harrasing someone for straws?

xoxo

Current Music: "Can't Get It Out Of My Head" Electric Light Orchestra

I am just sitting here right now and getting ready to go to work. I love my job and it will remain a secret. Haha! I have been hanging out with Amy a lot lately and I just love her and I kind of forgave Melinda. I really need to stop being so nice. Grrrr! I am mad at myself but she has been a lot more nice and of course she is also starting to hang out a lot more so I see her more and more which I guess is a good thing. I still love my Amy though. :D

I really need to talk to Kate more though since I haven't talked to her in forever which sucks. I know I must be a terrible friend but I am glad that she is still being friends with me even though I hardly get on to talk to her and same goes to Kirstyn. I am sorry I haven't really talk to my fave Upper East Sider in a long time. We shall catch up soon over some lemonade right after me and Kate go to Starbucks. HAHA! I have never had but I have always wanted to try it. I still have a gift card....$10 bucks which is probably enough for like one drink or so. I'm more into iced mochas. Yum Yum. Let the good times roll!!!

xoxo

kate just got me into the doors so now i am listening to the music of them. i have been listening to metro station's cd like all day today. it is just pure love. i am in love with the melodies, the beats, and lyrics. it just makes me wanna dance around and kind of does make me dance around. i may look like an idiot but at least i do it as a profession. lol. you know you love me. XP

i am so bored right now. no one is online at this hour obviously but i am about to head to bed in a moment. also, i just made an e-mail but i am not sure if i want the public people of buzznet to have it but i may give it to some people later. i can't wait to finally get all my things moved in. that will be the day and that will just be amazing. monday i am going to search for a job. i hope to get one real soon cause being 19 and jobless sucks. i was so bored and didn't feel like going to amy's and well kate doesn't live here which sucks. i wish she did live here cause she is just awesome. enough said.

i am going to bed right now. i may update with some hanna/audrey pics tomorrow. i'm sooo exhausted.

love you kate. i hope you guys have a lovely night and i'm not sure well and if i'll be able to get online. just have to see what plans come up.

xoxo

Okay so I thought that I should update this thing finally. I don't know why I make it seem like I hardly update my journals cause I update A LOT! Too many probably but I am just bored right now and listening to Saosin. Also, its hilarious how I get on and you know how I post pics of Hanna Beth and sometimes Audrey. Well, I have had a few comments where people think I am Hanna. I do not claim nor have I ever claimed to be Hanna but they should know Hanna's REAL account, you think if they were 'fans'. Haha. I just find that amusing. I don't mean it to sound rude or anything, I am just saying that I am not Hanna Beth and you think they would look at my profile. It says that my name is Stacey. Gosh! Haha. We had to get rid of my dog Sam today and it was sooo sad. :( I keep thinking of him.

I will try to report and blog on here a lot more. I tend to update a lot on LJ but that is just mostly for my best friend and I so yeah. Haha! You should understand or at least I hope you do. I want to get my bedroom finally put together but I am not sure when I will be able to put it together. I am painting my walls kind of light pink but it won't be so light it looks white, you will be able to tell its pink. I am still debating if I want to draw Gloomy Bear or Tare Panda on my wall by my bed. I am still debating and its in discussion at this time. I will be sure to tell you guys once I make that decision. So, I am going for a pink and black theme for my room and it is going to be a kiddie explosion. I plan on placing collective toys and vinyl records all over my walls and everything! I also have these white lace curtains but I will be dyeing those black. They are about this shade:

I am sure its going to look fantastic. Right now I am here on Buzznet and I am also on Myspace being bored. I love getting on Myspace yet I don't have many friends or anyone to really leave comments to? If you wish to you may add me on Myspace at: http://www.myspace.com/secretromance and if you don't have one then MAKE ONE! Haha. You don't have too but just have it and if you want to then add me. :D I would love to get some new friends! I hope you guys have a lovely night. I am sooo ready for bed. I may check my e-mail to see if Kate e-mailed me and then I'll be heading to bed. I shall talk to you all and report to you later. Love you all!

What are your plans for this weekend?

xoxo

I'll try to update this thing once I get done with a shower. I am about to do that and then I will just editing mine and Melissa's design Myspace page thing that we may get started with soon! So be sure to check that out whenever you get a chance. I will update with another journal as soon as I get back on.

In the meanwhile check out mine and Melissa's page on Myspace for Pixie Candy Designs:

http://www.myspace.com/pixiecandydesigns

Thank you!

xoxo

i am currently listening to kate nash. i haven't listened to her music i awhile. i'm in love with her music and also music by a fine frenzy. i am just in another world and i love it here. haha!

here are some icons for you lovely people. enjoy! please give me credit if you use my icons.

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5	6	7	8
9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24

i am once again and i think i'll stay a fan of these two amazing individuals and models:

xoxo

i tried to post a journal and it said it was spam. what the heck?!? all it said was what my doctor told me and stuff. oh well. lol.

i went to the doctor though yesterday and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. so far it has helped me out alot yet my stomach i think is still on the rough side so i am just hoping though that it gets better. tuesday after memorial day weekend, i will try to go by some accountants office and ask if any of them could use a full time or part time assistant since i am majoring in accounting in school. it would be kind of like an intern thingy. yeah i know, i think it would be fun.

got to talk to kate for almost 7 hours on AIM tonight. fun times. new beginnings. its all good with us now and i couldn't be more happier. :D

what are your plans for memorial day?

xoxo

hello readers. i am so bored right now and i am sooo missing many of you guys online especially my little friend S. :( it sucks that i can't get on AIM that much. i have a freakin' sidekick II and i can't even use it. grrr! it sucks because that has AIM on it but i don't have a SIMS card for it. boo hoo. i wish money would grow on trees or that i lived in the life that i dream about at night. life isn't meant to be perfect but gosh i wish it would. it sucks, i am sooo worried and paranoid about where i will be in just two months. (i'll be sure to tell you S later...its a bit private and she is my sister so i've got to message her in a bit) i will tell you all when the time comes and if it does happen. i need a boyfriend, at the same time...i don't. its so confusing when you like two boys at once. i still like my first crush and i still have my crush from last semester. life is not so perfect at the moment.

i am a bit scared and praying that i don't have anything wrong with me. i just seem to be drained and just in a bit of pain these past few days. i am hoping its all caused from my allergies or whatever and that its nothing to serious. my back is killing me right now. i will update you tomorrow after i get home and if i get time to get online with what i have. just pray for me loves, i need a little bit of courage. haha. i am always scared when i have something wrong with me, i rather be in good health. yeah i am a bit of a paranoid freak but get used to it. i'm not a germ phobia person but i am pretty close. XP

the CW is having a few problems with my show, gossip girl. yeah it sucks. :( the CW ratings are going down but monday night is the most watched night out of the CW's entire week. so one tree hill and gossip girl are the most watched show's on the CW and i think america's next top model was in there somewhere. i'm a bit afraid of that but i am just hoping that if the CW does happen to go bye-bye that the show will be picked up by another network. lets cross our fingers fellow GG lovers. *crosses fingers* i'll keep you guys updated. i just saw it on the homepage of yahoo! and thought i would tell you guys here on buzznet since i'm a bit into gossip girl. you can say that i am her assistant. ;) lmao! (i crack myself up sometimes)

love you guys! have a lovely week. i will update you tomorrow about my doctors appointment.

xoxo

i can't wait for this to come out on DVD. i hope to get a job and be able to buy it. august 19th is the day that gossip girl : season 1 is to be released. :)

xoxo

hey buzzneters. i'm not sure if anyone really reads these journal blogs that i write on here and i also write on my livejournal but not many would read that but a select few. that was such a run on sentence but do i have grammar? in the real world? yes. online? no. haha. i am so bored right now and i did finish two graphics that i just love. i can't wait to get the feedback from you guys. i have been having more free time to make more graphics and work on improving my photography. its a negative without internet on my laptop but yet at the same time i get something positive out of it.

i hope you guys are doing well and i hope your weekends went well. i am proud to say that i have amazing friends. you always see the celebs with buds or people that are close like sisters. i am glad that i have friends that are JUST like those kind of friendships. i have friends that are close friends and some that are like sisters to me that i basically tell everything to.

these are the listing of people that are friends that are basically like sisters to me: amy, beth, kirstyn, kate, and olivia.
some friends that are pretty close friends are: melinda, tory, anna, and a few others.

only two more gossip girl episodes left. what am i going to do once its gone? i guess i'll have to wait for season 2 which i am praying it will be picked up for yet another season. from some sources, i hear its doing good and then from others i hear its not doing so good so i'm not really sure. i really think they should change the advertisement...i mean they freakin' put it on their main layout on myspace. its got serena & nate totally making out and well its more than making out but it is pretty bad. i think that they are making it seem more 'sex' oriented which is so not true. maybe the show may sometimes reflect that in a few episodes but is that what the show is about? uh, no i don't think so. the CW makes me sick sometimes at what they do. :(

i am listening to aly &aj right now. i love them right now and this CD is just amazing.

i need to get the may nylon issue with blake lively & leighton meester in it. they are everywhere it seems, i always see some sort of gossip girl on the cover of some magazine. its just amazing how big this show is becoming. :) i need to continue reading the series & kirstyn i will let you borrow them if you wish, and i hope the season 1 comes out on DVD soon so you can watch it. :D lol.

i won't have internet anymore until my mom gets high speed (since we have DSL) or we find the linksys cd and can fix it. :( boo hoo kiddos, boo hoo. the reason i have internet right now is cause i am currently at the baymont inn & suites in wilmington. it is sooo beautiful here. i am insanely jealous of my sister going here. its like a little los angeles (in my opinon). its soo beautfiul outside. i'm in this room by myself, i'm all alone which sucks. i have no one to talk to. haha. love you all and i hope you guys are having a good summer if your summer is beginning.

xoxo

i hope you guys are having a lovely day. you better be wishing your mom a lovely mother's day. :) i am soon going to mulan's with the family to celebrate mothers day with my mom. <3

love you all. i will try to update with a better blog when i have time and stuff.

xoxo

i'm not sure anymore about a lot of things.
i'm not going to be on buzznet that much for the next few weeks because i am helping my older sister move back home and i am also working on my photography and PLUS i have to get a summer job. if i do get online, it won't be long.
hope you all understand. :)

xoxo